I woke up warm almost too warm, I instantly felt safe and sighed as I knew where I was. He looked so peaceful sleeping as the sun crept in from the curtain so I could see his face.
I needed to move and soon but the thought of leaving his side made my heart heavy but I could slowly feel the pounding headache behind my eyes making itself known, my mouth was so dry. As if he knew I was staring at him he smiled and looked at me.
“There’s some water and headache tablets on the side” he whispered making me realise I really did need to get a move on.
I whispered a thank you in return as I turned over and seen them waiting on me. I drank the entire water in one go, not even feeling a little less thirsty. I turned and lay back down even though I knew I shouldn’t. “I don’t want to go” I said as I turned to look at him, his face no longer peaceful but with a frown making me regret ever having said it. But he replaced it with a smile and kissed me ever so softly as if not to hurt me making me melt into him even more, but I kissed him back with the desperation in me that was always there, to not leave, to forget everything that made me want to run and hide forever.
“As much as I want to stay in bed with you all day, Ace is up, and you need to make your way to your bed before he notices your not there” he said in between peppering my lips with kisses making me breathless and with even more desire to stay.
“Ok” I don’t know how I managed to speak. He laughed, ever so quietly and I felt it in my heart. I am really done for.
I shook my head, annoyed at myself. I moved so quickly, I stood and almost hit the floor In the same second. The room spinning as I fell back sitting on the bed. How could I be so stupid to let him into my heart. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID.
I searched around for my clothes, and I see them on the floor next to them God awful heels. I wouldn’t be wearing them in a hurry as I felt the ache in my feet. Oh, and my legs. Never mind. Everywhere, I could feel every part of me aching. Maybe drinking just wasn’t for me.
I crept around grabbing my things as I felt his eyes on me as he stared at me from the bed. I didn’t look back at him. I couldn’t. My heart was thundering, and tears threatened to spill down my face. This was all too much.
I opened his door, looking around not even daring to look back at the man that made my heart hurt and happy at the same time.
I managed to make it back to my room, closing the door as I slid to the floor. I didn’t cry, but I did need to move and just keep going.
I pulled myself along and turned the shower on, promising me relief from my achy muscles and head.
I didn’t recognise the girl in the mirror, my eyes were wide but dark from the smeared mascara, my lips swollen as I touch them remembering my night with Cain. What was I going to do? Maybe he wouldn’t hurt me? I scolded myself at the thought, why was I so bloody special. I wasn’t. But being in his arms helped me forget the aching in my heart. I needed my mum, but I couldn’t go to her. My eyes welled up, tears not stopping as they ran down my face. I held my hand to my mouth to stop the sobs that were raking my body. It was like everything that happened the last few months was only just dawning on me, and my body was releasing all the heart ache and fear that was in me.
I stepped in the shower and sat down as hot water washed away the pain that just kept coming and coming along with my tears.
I had managed to get out the shower and dressed. My eyes red and swollen from my tears. My pain.
There was a knock on my door, and I answered come in. Half hoping it was Cain, half not.
It was Ace.
“How are you this morning?” He says looking at me smiling, I knew he was choosing to ignore my red puffy eyes and I was grateful.
“I’ve made pancakes”
“Well, they are a bit on the burnt side but shove some chocolate on there and we are good to go”
I follow him out smiling, already feeling calmer in his presence.
We had all spent the day inside watching films, and I don’t think I’d have managed anything more. They had spent the day in conversation now and again in the kitchen, I don’t think they knew what to do. I didn’t look at Cain in fear of seeing regret or just no feelings at all.
“We will need to have another night out again soon, without the spoil sports” Elise said next to me on the sofa. The thought made me squirm.
“I feel awful today, I’m not in a rush for that again.” I say closing my eyes as the pain behind them was still there.
They all laugh, and I look around at them all and realised that they really were my friends. I sank further into the sofa feeling that bit lighter. Even if one of them was going to smash my heart into little pieces. Which didn’t stop me looking over at him and the look he gave me made me forget everything I was warning myself against, what my mum warned me against as the heat of his gaze sank into me.