A/N: honestly I am quite disappointed with this piece and it’s certainly not my best. My time for hobbies has been very little lately, but I’m hoping to get the groove of writing back soon.
CW: General plant monster tomfoolery, non consensual kissing/touching, plant! Humanoid, tentacle-y vines, scratching/stomach wound
Synopsis: Attempting to rid your yard of a parasitic plant, you find that its overgrown vines are the least of your worries.
Word count: 2500
You never really messed with the weirdly shaped hedge in your backyard. Never touching its vines that reached all the way to your back door, even when it began leeching off your garden– suffocating the nearly ripe tomatoes and bell peppers that you planned on harvesting within a few days time. As a self proclaimed ‘expert gardener’, you came to the conclusion (or rather, googled) that the overgrown flowers on the shrub that squished your tender greens to mush, were ambrosia roses. Their peachy petals brightened your garden, despite their selfish nature.
However, the mass of the shrub had grown so large you could stand the sight of it no longer, its presence becoming a speedy parasite in your backyard. While beautiful when in bloom, it was beginning to wipe out every other living flora. So like any other self-respecting gardener, you decided it was time to rid your backyard of the plants’ mooching.
Taking out some trusty pruning shears and a pair of well-worn gloves, that afternoon you began to hack away at the dense, tangled vines.
It took hours before you reached the innermost part of the shrub. Beginning with the outer detrimental vines that threatened your thriving vegetables and fruits, you then moved to the leaves keen on reaching your porch doors. Those had been child’s play, but once you got to the meat of the shrub– well, it was far more daunting than some thin, green shoots. The branches and vines were not fresh little tendrils, they had been there long before you even set eyes upon your quaint home. It took all your strength to chop one of them down, leaning your entire body on the shears only to find the blade had made a mere sliver in the thick branch.
You had begun Operation: Shrub Removal within the hottest time of the day; now, the sun was beginning to set. Covered head to toe in sweat, dirt, and leaves, you smelt the stench of dying rose petals on your moist skin. Your shirt was drenched from the day’s hard work but finally, you got to the heart of the beast.
The undefining branches that stuck out were easily snipped and broken in two, but the inner, thicker pieces of the plant had created the silhouette of… a human? But that couldn’t be. You laughed at yourself, wondering how tired you must be in order to think of something so ridiculous. Maybe the sweat was getting into your eyes and making you imagine things. Or maybe… you were a really good topiarist? This shrub was almost too realistic, down to the perfect curvature of a person’s thighs and defined hips.
There was definitely something there other than your imagination; no matter what angle you looked at it, it looked human-shaped.
“Alright…” You sighed aloud, preparing to finish for the night. You were too exhausted to figure out the sanity of your vision.
Grabbing your shears, you threw a strayed branch onto a green pile of snipped vines and flowers. Your work boots trudged in the grass as you slumped back to the house, your eyes observing the small cuts and abrasions detailing your skin from tustling with the vines.
Throwing off your dirty gloves and stepping up the porch, you felt something gently brush itself against your leg. You jumped and stumble backwards with a loud shout, expecting to see a garden snake coiling up your ankle. But the thing trailing up your limb was far too green, far too pulsating to be a reptile. It squeezed around your shin and encircled your leg.