Love Lies (Unedited)

"The End"

Unedited*Lucy’s POV:

I’m laying in bed, my back facing the door. Jenna and Will are long gone, and Row just had his night bottle. Meaning I can get some sleep before I’m woken up again, but my thoughts that I have avoided have finally caught up with me.

     He says he loves me. And some little part of me loves him back. But what we have isn’t love. Badly I want it to be love, yet it’s not. We claim we know each other, but we don’t. The best thing for me is to leave. Obviously I didn’t think this through, but I will not sit here in his apartment playing damsel. The thing is, I could go anywhere. San Diego was just the first thing that came to my mind. But the reality is I don’t want to go back. I moved to Seattle to leave. To get away from the drama that is my family. And now my life has been changed in a way that I can’t ignore.

I have a baby now. A baby that is two months old, and needs me in his life. I have a man that claims he loves me, but has only been in my life because of this pregnancy. He’s been with me through what could be said as the lowest point in my life. All at the sad age of twenty-three. I’m barely into my career, barely into my adult life. I don’t know how I can manage-

Harrison’s booming voice breaks me out of my thoughts. “I won’t stop you if you want to leave,” his voice staggers. When did he come back inside? How does he know I’m awake? I turn to face the bedroom door. Harrison is standing, with his arms crossed at his chest. The light from the hallway spills in, illuminating his tall frame.

“What?” Did he just say that? My eyes widened in shock, and met his for the first time in a while. His face is showing no emotion, but I can see that he is upset. His eyes are glossed over.

“Leave if you want. I won’t stop you, but I have one simple request” he straightens up in the doorway, and his eyes break from mine, “Let me go with you.”

I sit up in bed to fully face him, my head spinning. He stares at the wall, waiting for my response. “Harr- I. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. And I realize with a child it makes things ten times more difficult. What your asking is a big fucking commitment. You’re still in your residency. You can’t just leave. You aren’t thinking straight.”

He walks over to the bed and sits right at my feet. “And you are? Moving during my residency will fuck up some stuff, but not majorly. I’m serious. If you want to go, go. I understand you have thought about this, but this is the best option. Me sitting on the idea of you moving isn’t going to stop you from moving. You’re too stubborn for that, Luce. But I love you, and I love our kid, so I’m not going to let you up and leave without me.”

“I don’t want a relationship, I actually don’t want to move to San Diego, but I want to move. Somewhere with good schools, and” I pause, god I really hadn’t thought it all through, “I want to leave soon.”

He nods, a hint of a sad laugh appears in his voice, “I understand.” We sit beside each other quietly for a minute before he gets up, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze, and leaves.

I lie back down on the bed, and am finally able to get some sleep.

— It’s been two weeks since Harrison and I talked about us leaving, and it’s been peaceful. I’ve noticed that he’s been looking at houses and residency programs all over, and caught him on the phone with Will about places he thinks we could go. I wasn’t sure he was serious about it, but his actions say otherwise. Over the past two weeks I’ve realized that the past year has been hell. A beautiful hell. It’s hard to think that is possible, but it truly has been the best and worst time of my life. I sit up in the bed and cross my legs, pulling my laptop to me. The baby monitor rests by my side, and Row’s soft snores fill up the quietness of my room.

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