hyunjin sluggishly walked inside the apartment, his feet barely dragging his weight. perhaps, the thoughts in his head weighed him down. it was either that or he was dizzy from kissing felix.
well, he would admit it; the kiss cam was quite a stupid idea. quite was an understatement. a very stupid idea, maybe. the more he thought about it, the more he actually understood what felix meant. true, the gesture was sweet and his intentions were cute, but that still was a fucked up way to approach someone. especially when that someone was currently the most important thing in your life.
hyunjin couldn’t believe he actually fucked it up. his heart ached a little, settling with a cold form of loneliness in his chest. he was…upset. with himself mostly. he went and fucked up again. and it actually hurt when he missed felix so fucking much and remembered he wouldn’t have him tonight.
as if on cue, his phone let out a ‘ding’, alerting him of a message. he pulled it out of his pocket and opened felix’s message.
LOML💛i’m spending the night at my friend’s
hyunjin’s heart clenched. especially at the oh-so-familiar expectation. like, he wasn’t surprised. of course, he repelled felix off to somewhere that he couldn’t even stand in the same house as him. okay, now that hurt.
his thumbs pondered on his keyboard, hesitating to get the words out. he tried so many times, but ended up deleting everything in dejection.
Meokay, take care an|
Medid you have your dinne|
Mei’m sorry, feli|
Mei miss y|
and before he could settle with one message, another one arrived.
at that, hyunjin couldn’t do it anymore. he missed felix. he missed everything about him—the musty peppermint of his leather jacket, his pancakes with extra whipped cream, the way he’d roll his eyes every time he watched hyunjin eat watermelon with seeds, the freckles he had grown used to count instead of the stars, that annoying yet heartwarming complains he’d give every time his hand turned sweaty from how long hyunjin would hold onto them…everything.
a lone tear slipped past his nose, washing down the tiny mole that dropped under his eyes. he wiped it and took a deep breath, not wanting to cry. he already had enough, a breakdown was not something he needed at the moment. he was sad enough.
to clear his head or at least try to, he took a shower. he didn’t put any efforts to wash clean and shit. just let the warm water cover him up in warmth that a certain someone ripped from him today. sighing tiredly, he wrapped a towel around his hip and walked out. by that time, the shower had numbed his body and his thoughts. he threw over some lazy shorts and t-shirt, not caring to give his hair a blow dry. he picked his phone up and called the first contact he could find—lee know.